F’ing with SEO

18. I once memorized pi to 1000 places. Actually, that’s not true, I memorized 20 places, then started making up numbers. Surprisingly, nobody called me on it.

In the hopes of writing a slightly different post that the last one like this, I’ve decided to screw with anybody who might find a portion of this post on a search engine. Basically, I want to viciously misrepresent my site so that they think they’re going to read an article that’s way different than this. Just go with it, you’ll get it eventually.

Top terms visitors used to find your page in a search

• pixelated/pixelation In computer graphics, pixelation is an effect caused by displaying a bitmap or a section of a bitmap at such a large size that individual pixels, small single-colored square display elements that comprise the bitmap, are visible to the eye. When an image suffers from Pixelation, it means that the author of this blog has blown it up so much that even individual pixels are running for attention.
• things to do before you turn 30 Ride an ocelot, win some of Nobel’s blood money, see all seven wonders of the world, not to mention the list of 100 awesome things that Google doesn’t capture.
• goals before age 25 Eat an endangered species, gravitate toward a black hole, become engaged to a person with a prior commitment, plus 97 way more cool things that are below the fold.
• draco rapes hermione This slash fiction has been rated as the best sequel to the seventh book. J.K. herself said that this was “awesome shit” and that she wished she’d thought of it.
• when the jazzman testifies Samuel “Bleeding Gums” Murphy testified today in the Greater Springfield Court that his relationship with one Lisa “Loves Older Men” Simpson was purely platonic.
• zzzzap The aliens’ space blasters shot Eli straight in the butt. “OUCH!” Eli shouted. “You shot me straight in the butt!” And the aliens apologized and forfeited the match. That night, though Eli had the trophy he had so longed for, his accomplishment was bittersweet because he was dead.
• “flashed at some” boobs Whenever I’ve been flashed at some boobs, I’m always happier than when I’m not being flashed at some boobs, and you KNOW it.
• aggies xchange books was not only where I got my Chemistry textbook, but where I found my apartment, job, girlfriend, and to a lesser extent: herpetic prostitutes.
• alethea pronounced Al-SCHMEE-thee-ah, is actually a fairly common name in many parts of the world. The non-silent SCHM sound is confusing to many ignorant people, but is actually the proper pronunciation.
• ayshea quintana Ayshea Quintana should get whatever job she’s applying for. She probably deserves it, although I’ve never really met her. Still: good first name.
• “tooth fairy” wisdom tooth | teeth amount | “how much” Scientists say that not giving your child more than $20 per tooth is a sign that you don’t love them. Also, in a Harvard study, linked to below, there was a direct, causal correlation between increased money giving and the child’s IQ.
• how do i autosave in “adobe illustrator”? The autosave feature in illustrator is actually very difficult to find. Under the ‘Window’ menu, go down to the ‘pages’ palette, then click on the ‘take me to the secret illustrator menu’ option that you should have if you bought the deluxe edition. There: you will find autosave.

p.s.  I totally didn’t realize today was pi day.  The fact was unrelated, but eerily appropriate.  Happy pi day!

18. I once memorized pi to 1000 places. Actually, that’s not true, I memorized 20 places, then started making up numbers. Surprisingly, nobody called me on it. In the hopes of writing a slightly different post that the last one like this, I’ve decided to screw with anybody who might find a portion of this…