Unnecessary Qualifiers
- by Pixel
17. When I was in high school, I would relentlessly tease a kid I couldn’t stand by giving him nicknames. I also teased people I really, really liked by giving them nicknames. The fact that I treated people I hated and people I liked in the same way always seemed schizophrenic, but it amused me just the same. I don’t do that anymore, because most of the people that still talk to me are people I feel neutral toward. I wonder if there’s any connection…..
Here’s a fun game: in a regular conversation, throw out qualifiers which raise more questions than they answer. Example:
- My day was fine. Unlike some people, I didn’t accidentally have my fly down all day.
- I haven’t ever been caught cheating on my girlfriend.
I don’t have herpes anymore.No, I don’t have herpes outbreaks. ((How is it that Seth is smarter than I am? Or is it just in matters of STIs? 😉 ))- I was really good last week: I didn’t pick up any hookers.
- I didn’t stab any hobos… last night.
Get it? These are all true statements, but the unnecessary qualifiers completely change their meaning. You try!
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17. When I was in high school, I would relentlessly tease a kid I couldn’t stand by giving him nicknames. I also teased people I really, really liked by giving them nicknames. The fact that I treated people I hated and people I liked in the same way always seemed schizophrenic, but it amused me…
Herpes isn’t curable, only treatable. That qualifier is erroneous. 😯
I love my parents, except when there’s a full moon.
Best game ever. 🙂